Sunday, June 19, 2011

In all things give thanks

Today I was watching the duggar's episode where Anna told how she miscarried and her mil told her to thank God in everything. This morning in church I heard a sermon about not using my moodswings to make my husband do what i want him to do. So here I sit. In silence. In prayer. In thanks that God has brought me to a realization of what I want in life as well as how far I am from that goal. All I can do is sit here in thanks that my God loves me so much that He has a plan bigger and better than I could ever dream and I am catching a small glimpse of it right now. Though I feel like i can't breathe for all of the emotions inside and the questions flying through my head....I thank my father in heaven on this blessed father's day for showing me that my dreams can come true and one ay they will....til then I wait and praise his name

Saturday, June 4, 2011

Pardon my whining

Day one of our 22 day journey has put us on a rocky path. I worked so hard yesterday. I have been working so hard for a few days now. Even had dental work done earlier this week. You would think today would have been a little better but no. I really wanted to leave last night. I really wanted to be here for my bestie today from the time she got up but it just wasn't in the cards. I almost feel like being here has become more of a to do list item on her check list because of her heartbreaking circumstances. I hated to do it but dh and i both felt it best for her to be with her family and not have to worry about us. I miss her bad right now.

As if all that weren't enough I have been eating like a pig. I made a commitment to myself to track everything I ate with my handy dandy iPad and I feel like a glutenous cow.

So here I am.... After traveling for 9.5 hrs on the bike typing a blog to distract the burning criucifiction that is my selfish flesh....time to master some angry birds

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

harsh reality

Today we returned home from a long weekend. We welcomed home the USS Kearsarge and my brother in law. It was a heartwarming experience. I laughed, I cried, and we took many pictures. Tonight, as I was going through the pictures I saw a photo that my husband shot of me and my baby girl. Our faces, our reactions, our laughs are the same. I was broken hearted to see that our body types are the same as well. as I was looking at the picture I saw not only my daugter and me....but my daughter and hers, my grand daughter and her daughter, and more generations to come with my influence being passed down. In our house we have been trying to do the 17 day diet....dang near impossible during cycle one while on vacation. I realized tonight that you can chase the miracle fads. You can do all the hollywood try-its. You can even have surgery. It doesnt matter. It isnt until that AH HA moment that you realize IT IS FOR YOU but not only you...for EVERYONE that looks to you for ANY reason.

I don't want this for my daughter. I don't want her to know what I know. See things the way that I see them. I don't want her to EVER have to feel some of the emotions I have faced in my life. All of which were my own doing!!! We destroy ourselves in the name of Fun. We decimate these beautiful temples God has created and for what? A hamburger that, if called beef, would be deemed false advertisement? A night out drinking with the girls? A long series of excuses that there isnt even a legitimate reason for thinking let alone making our reality? We do it to ourselves and then 10 years later we look back and say "what happened?" You know what happened!!!! A conscience decision was made to set our temple aside and enjoy the flesh. the flesh should ultimately be denied. The Bible says that The Flesh can not please God. "For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God" (Romans 8:5-8)."Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. For what is a man profited, if he shall gain the whole world, and lose his own soul? or what shall a man give in exchange for his soul?" (Matthew 16:24-26).

I am now on my journey to DENY my flesh. To DENY my NEED to destroy my life and the generations that will ultimately follow in my footsteps. God has entrusted this body and the training of my future generations to me!!! I need to pick up my cross and follow him. 

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Want vs. Need

Oh how we want the best for ourselves, our families, our friends. But do we know what the true NEED behind the want is? What are we trying to achieve? I have had a hard time with this reality here lately. With my lil' monkey turning 3 I have been dying to change her "nursery" into a big girl room. This of course comes on the heals of her finally climbing out of her crib. OH GRACIOUS you say? Yeah I would say the same thing and I have said that to friends that keep their kids in cribs past 2. Now I realize....the longer you can contain them...the more sleep you get!

I went on my want vs. need journey is trying to find exactly what I wanted to make her room "big girl" style. At first I wanted a storage platform bed and a matching dresser. then I found this over the top castle bed (every girl's dream but definitely beyond my Dave Ramsey budget). Then I found a dollhouse bed and matching dresser. I was SOLD!!! Then I got the most amazing deal I had to turn down. The set sells for just under $4000. I could have gotten it for $1200....I was crushed. Our budget for her entire room isnt supposed to be over $400. I cried. It is definitely what I want for my child but trying to be the grown up I claim to be I needed to realize it isnt what SHE NEEDS!!! She just wants to be a big girl. She just wants to use her tinkerbell sheets. She just wants to sleep in a bed like her brother's.....It was MY want that was getting in the way of all this.

Today, I found my need. I love antique's and I wanted her (originally) to have a cute modernly antique style of furniture if that makes sense...I think most call it Shabby Chic! While looking on craigslist I found it all.....well everything but the bed. Plenty of dresser space, plenty of room for toys and books, and a mirror that oddly enough looks like a crown! Just in time since her birthday is Sunday. She saw it and went to screaming "ITS MY BIG GIRL ROOM"

Looking back I can see God all over this...what a lesson!!! How often do we THINK we know what we want? How often do we strive for that goal just to realize it was never a realistic option for our lives? God knows best doesn't He? He gently guides us from that we "think" is best and shows us His way....and it's ALWAYS better. Are you dealing with something you "want" right now? Ask God if it is what you NEED and see if He might know a better way for your life. You never know what opportunity my arise when you sit back and wait on the Lord.

Jesus said, "I am the vine, ye are the branches: he that abideth in me, and I in him, the same bringeth forth much fruit: for without [separately, apart from] me ye can do nothing" (John 15:5)

Sunday, April 17, 2011

What is my gift?

Have you ever wondered what your gift in life is? what were you put here to do? I have been struggling with this lately. I look at all the amazing women in my life. There is the singer, the homeschooler, the craftmaker, the decorator, the beauty queen, the sweet spirit, the homemaker. they are all so perfect in what they do. having amazing people like that in one's life can make a person, that isn't comfortable in their own skin, a little insecure.

We have had a lot of emotional ups and downs here lately and I almost feel like i have lost my niche. I stopped being the "know it all" and just started trying to relate. I stopped trying to always be right and just started trying to be an accountability partner for friends that need or ask for it. I have been working really hard to be a better me but in striving for that goal I never realized it meant that I was going to lose the person I was and possibly having to find who it is that God means for me to become. I have been in a full blown identity crisis and I didn't even realize it. I have just been coasting.

Today, in sunday school, we were talking about the stress of discontentment and what it really means to be content. I was soaking it up. I never knew that my passion for something new or better didn't mean i wasnt content. I have to admit i would get frustrated because I thought I wasnt content and I know God wants us to find contentment in our lives and seek Him. I thought I had failed miserably. I was so glad to learn today that it wasnt all bad. So now....what do I do?

First of all I went to my husband. I told him that I didnt know what my gift was. What is my place in life!?!?! What was his answer? The curse word : Super Mom!!!! Oh no! My heart dropped....have I acheived NOTHING? when I think of a supermom now I see a lean woman with perfect hair and makeup in a beautiful cheetah print super suit with a fabulous hot pink super cape blowing in the wind. In one hand she holds the leashes tied around her childrens waists and in the other she holds her home. Its all a perfectly presented package and she isnt shaken because she refuses for people to see that she may only be skin deep.

My sweet husband explained to me I parent our children in a Godly manner, that i do what is best for them no matter what the cost to my social life. He told me that I make him rise to a level of parenthood that may not appeal to him but that is undoubtably an unselfish level that makes a parenting a priority as it should be. He went on to tell me how I have become this manager of life, love, activity, balance, and peace in our family. And he taught me a very valuable lesson. Supermom does NOT equal Super Mom!!!! You can't be a Supermom and an Abiding mom but you can be a Super MOM and an Abiding Mom!!! It's amazing what a little conversation on the way home from church can do for ya!!

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Wasted Time

What do you do daily that wastes your time? I call it my "me time" but is it really? Most of it is spent in front of the computer or on the bed catching up on hgtv....I am starting to realize my me idolness....OH NO you gasp....SHE SPELLED THAT WRONG...NOPE!! Not me! I am really funny about grammatical issues. I mean it. It IS IDOLness. I have become my own IDOL! I want for me, I do for me, I pray for me, I need for me, I suffer FOR ME!! Is any of this wrong? Oh yeah because I do it all the time one way or another.

I have been focusing on becoming the Proverbs 31 woman and I was convicted in today's Doorposts Giveaway that I am not being this woman. This idea that I have that I NEED downtime...its strictly spoken against in the Bible....maybe it doesnt say "thou shalt not watch HGTV" but it does say that we are to stay busy. God doesn't give us bones, muscle, dynamic, and energy to be wasted pushing a remote button back and forth

So my me time and energy are now going to include the following:

Keeping my home so that I may not be consumed by my work but kept busy by my tending (27She looks well to the ways of her household,And does not eat the bread of idleness. )thus springs forth the idea that maybe if I am busy enough...I may not over eat. How many times have I taken this bite or that...just because I am bored, lonely, or just plain and simply NOT PAYING ATTENTION!!!!

Working out ... my body is my temple and i perform better when I feel better. My body needs muscle to burn fat and energy. According to 1 Corinthians 6:19–20 (ESV)
 19 Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, 20 for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
 Ever wonder how much life can be transformed by simply living the way the bible tells us to?
Find Time to Try a New Recipe ... this goes along with proverbs 31 in that
15She rises also while it is still night
And gives food to her household
And portions to her maidens. 

Ever wonder how much life can be transformed by simply living the way the bible tells us to?

Friday, March 18, 2011

Oh what a glorious day,,,,

have you ever felt like God was just smiling down on you? I feel little blessings pouring all over my shoulders today...

I can't say what yet but there may be a very big blessing coming our way soon. My sweet dh may be able to go to training when we can all go. One of my besties and I are going to get make overs, eat Olive Garden, and buy furniture....on top of that I did my 2nd work out in a row along with 5 solid days of tracking food.

to top all that off....My ABSOLUTE FAVORITE mothering tool is up for grabs today from one of my favorite parenting resources! Doorpost's 4th day give away is a full set of their charts including (drum roll) THE IF THEN CHART!!! Oh you should see the smile on my face!!!!

Go here and enter to win...NO MOTHER SHOULD BE WITHOUT THESE!!!

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I am humbled

You've heard the age old saying "smile, you never know who is looking up to you". Yesterday, I was challenged to look at the world around me....and through God's eyes. It was painful. I have come to believe that we as people have become numbed by society to the point that we can't see the pain going on in someone else's lives because we are blinded by lies. In my very own life I let a small fib (if you can call it that) stop me in my tracks and instead of seeing through it with God's eyes I some how chose to just keep going on. What she said was what she meant and that was the end of it. It wasnt until tears of joy and love came pouring from her eyes that I knew I had been wrong. We as people are prideful not only in our lives by what we have accomplished but also in what we as people have accomplished in someone else's life. So today I challenge you....see through the curtain, pray for God's eyes, look for what you may have purposely overlooked before....I challenge you to bless your nearest and dearest in some way today. What is love...if it isnt shared?

With that keep this verse in mind

1 Corinthians 13

 1 If I speak in the tongues[a] of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Enter to win....

I absolutely love Doorposts and ever since my dear sweet Jaybrena introduced the If/Then chart to me...parenting has been MUCH easier. Not a cake walk by any means but I don't struggle with my punishment or praise technique anymore. Well if you want to be as blessed as I was you can enter to win daily through March 26th...a grand prize winner will be chosen on that day to receive all the products!!

Go here to enter

I don't know why...

but I have decided to blog again...I think in a way it just makes me feel better. I love sharing my life, my experiences, and the many "treasure boxes" God leaves for me along life's journey. So with that....I am back!!!

So why "The Abiding Mom" you may ask? Well it was something i found when I started trying to homeschool the monkey. I realized I had always been called a supermom and it was starting to really take a toll on me. I struggled to make my kids shine. I wanted to be praised for having the best kids in the world. Yes, I know it seems selfish but you can't say you haven't been there too if you are honest with yourself.....I mean don't we all have a "smarter than the average bear" moment with our kids?

I was losing my battle, and I was losing fast. I decided that I wanted something different. I wanted to be a better mom. I was spending too much time on coupons. I was spending too much time on Facebook, I was spending way too much time playing Frontierville, and I didn't really like being a parent for the most part. I love my kids, don't misunderstand, but I felt like I was failing in so many ways that I wasnt able to keep up and so I really had begun to stop trying. I wasn't a super mom and I wasn't going to try to be one anymore.

Then I found this chart.

I have since slowed down on my "to do" list and started my "to be" list. I love harder, try harder, and even forgive harder. It's life changing when applied....try makes being a mom easier, more fulfilling, and even more joyous....then again....What doesn't feel better when done through the love of Christ